Unshakable Faith

There comes a time in your walk with Christ as a new believer, when your faith is tested and your trust in God is either strengthened or weakened. I am beyond blessed to say that my faith and trust in Christ, have recently been strengthened in such a beautiful way! As you might have read from my previous posts, I am still a fairly new Christian, and as my faith keeps growing, the walk with Christ gets that much more rewarding but that the same time it can get that much more difficult. 

A recent dating experience lead me to fully understand the word of God and to completely abide and grasp on to Jesus as tightly as I have yet to do. I now fully understand how God allows us to go through hard situations in order to strengthen us and show us how powerful his love, grace and mercy are upon our lives. 

From the last time that I published my last blog entry, I was in a "perfect" place. Waiting on Jesus, giving him all that I am and trusting His will over my own. As the hopeless romantic that I am, you would think all I needed was that special someone in my life. But the truth is, that I was not feeling that way at all. I had Jesus, I was dating Him! <3 And as people always say that your significant other shows up when you are least expecting it, it kinda is true. I say kinda because I was not expecting to and wanting to date anyone, though this person was not "The One", I had a good experience, but I am still waiting on my prince charming :)

 I met (let's call him Andrew) at my church without anyone introducing us. He had just gotten to El Paso and was new at the church. We quickly connected, as we both shared a lot of the same past struggles and a friendship soon started rising. Though as we spend more and more time together, a relationship grew and prayerfully we both agreed we wanted to get to know each other more inviting God to be the center of our relationship :) 

Everything was great until things started drifting in not such a positive way. I don't in anyway write this blog post to speak badly of Andrew, but rather to share the victory in Christ I have found through trials and God's refining fire. Andrew had just completed bible college and anxiously waiting on his opportunity to do what God has called him to do, Preach. I was excited for him, but God had put in my heart that it comes with time before anyone can be trusted with sharing God's word with a congregation, and that Andrew was not quite ready. I know that he knew this as well, yet his hunger to preach the word overtook him and let him to a very bumpy road, taking me alongside. 

Knowing the bible from cover to cover as he had obtained a theology degree, soon my faith started shaking as the enemy slowly lied to me about not knowing God's word as good as Andrew. I started to believe that my heart felt prayers were not good enough for God if I could not pray with memorized scripture. I started to compare myself with Andrew and wanted what he had. But the truth is that there is a big difference between holding scripture in your brain and in your heart. I choose to hold it in my heart, not word for word, but knowing and holding on to God's promises and truth. And my prayers are as powerful as anyone's can be. Prayer is speaking to God and telling him what truly lies within your heart. Yes, praying with scripture is powerful, but remember that God meets us where we are at. He doesn't need too be impressed by how we pray, all He wants is our love and the opportunity to show us how much He loves and cares for us. 

Being as physically fit as Andrew is, the enemy used him to try and shake my self worth. Making me look at myself as if I needed to change the way I look and my weight in order to be accepted. Going to the gym is important and much more is living a healthy life. The bible clearly says that our bodies are a temple of the holy spirit, but God loves us as we are. If He accepts us just the way we are, no one should tell us different or make us feel as if we should have to change. 

Alongside came lies of the enemy about my past. Making me feel as if what I have done before I came to Christ defines me and that it will always follow me. Yes, I will not and no can can ever erase from your memory past hurts, struggles and sins; but with Christ we are fully redeemed! He forgives us and He also forgets! The from time to time instances that we remember those hurts, struggles or sins, serve the purpose of reminding us of what Christ has done for us, and that only through Him can we be cleansed and our sins washed away. One should not allow the lies of the enemy to use a person to condemn, because as we are in Christ, we know we have victory through Him! 

As Andrew's desired to preach grew and grew without any fast enough movement for him at our church, he decided to pursue his calling at another church. I followed him. It was only two weeks that I was away from my church, and God used those 2 weeks mightily to put me through a fire I overcame with Christ by my side. I learned that yes God is everywhere, but I don't need to move unless God moves me. As you might know, I am part of the prayer team at my church and I have found intercession to be my calling. Interceding for someone in prayer is doing things behind the scenes. No one knows and no one sees you. As such there are things that I do in my church that come with no worldly rewards or praises, and the enemy through Andrew was trying to make me believe that I needed those praises and recognition. The only recognition I need is from God and the truth is that the greatest works are done when no one is watching. I am ok with that! Yes, we all need and like being recognized for a job well done. But just because you don't receive them how you expect them, does not mean you aren't getting them. 

I also learned that there is no perfect church. Why? Well because the church is us, the body of Christ and we are not perfect. We cannot please each other all the time, but you don't stop doing God's calling in your life because of that. You don't stop in your calling because things aren't moving fast enough in your timing, but rather in God's timing. You don't do things for the church and for God with your heart and expect worldly praises and recognition. You don't move and run around from places or situation just because things are too hard and you don't see or feel God's works. You trust God 100% and place everything in His will, or you place nothing at all. 

Throughout this time I began a job at a restaurant and couple weeks into it, I helped Andrew get a job there as well. He started working there a day after we had broken up. You can imagine the struggle that was! After a hard couple months relationship and having left my church following a man and not Jesus, God opened my eyes and showed me what I needed to learn from this experience. There are many times where I would cry to my prayer team at church and say I was ready to quit! That I didn't want to work there any longer and that I didn't want to see him anymore. But God was showing me to be obedient and to be faithful that He would bring me through this. For the first time in 18 years of living in the U.S. I was finally working legally and I could not walk away from a door of employment God had clearly opened for me. 

I also learned from this situation, the value of verses 23-24 in Colossians 3. 

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

Yes the work was hard and for a moment I felt I hated it! I didn't want to be there because I didnt want to see Andrew, but through these verses I was reminded that I work for God. That everything I do in my life is to bring Him honor and glory. That regardless of the situation, I needed to be faithful.

In the two weeks that I left my church and that my relationship with Andrew was coming to an end, God put on my heart 1 Corinthians 10:13 

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

God was showing me that I had made a mistake by leaving my church, but that He was right there with me to help me. He put in my heart "a second chance" and I knew He was directing me back to my church. The relationship I had with Andrew was a bit abusive as much as it hurts to admit. I don't think he is  aware of that, but I know God allowed it to show me and strengthen me. He knows what I can bare and before I knew it He was already helping me out. In this same verse, God was telling me that I had faced a temptation very common to people, placing another person higher than God and following that person. But again, God was, is and will be faithful! No matter what mess we might get into, He will always help us to get out of it and give us that second chance. 

As I left my church those two weeks, I later learned upon returning how faithful the prayer team was to lift me up in prayer and trust God that I would be ok. Some of them confess to me that they knew what was going on but God put in their hearts that I was going to learn something from it and that all they could do was trust Him and pray for me. I am amazed at their obedience and how powerfully their prayers covered me and lead me back to my church and my prayer team. Of course all that happen caused some hurt and God in this situation taught me humility and be able to ask forgiveness from those whom I hurt. (Whether I was aware of it or not that I had hurt them!).

An even bigger lesson came with family. My parents saw right through Andrew from the get go, yet I refused to listened. Andrew justified my parent's disapproval of him by reminding me that they are not believers. That I couldnt please them in everything I did and that I needed to do things for my self. He showed me Luke 14:26-27.

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26-27

But God did not allow me to misinterpret this teaching Jesus brings! He call us to hate but not in literal terms! He rather used that term to mean that we must love everything else less than we love Him. That if we don't love God with all our hearts and above all then we cannot follow Him. Its a commandment! But another commandment is to honor your father and your mother... Then God had me read the following verses where Jesus explains about building a tower. He calls us to analyze the cost following Him. But he also is teaching us to analyze the cost in everything we do in life. clearly this says to me that you either make a decision and go all in, or you don't. God doesn't want for us to do things half way! 

Lastly, I learned also the meaning of verses 6-7 in 1 Peter 1. 

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." - 1 Peter 1:6-7

I see how this relationship was a teaching me how God sees me and what He knows I can handle. He loves me just the way that I am and knows my strength as to allow the enemy to tempt me and lie to me knowing that I would pass the test! It was very painful emotionally realizing the manipulation I was under with Andrew by leaving my church, hating work and even almost hating myself and the way I look. Questioning my calling from God and seeking rewards from serving that I have already received abundantly from Christ himself! These verses hold truth as the hurt was for a little while (2 months) and my faith was refined by fire through the trials faced. As a result, as I have titled this post, I saw my "Unshakable Faith" in Christ; resulting in giving Him all the honor, praise and glory! :D

I also learned that, in situations like this is when we fully trust in God as there is nothing physically that we can do to better the situation. We loose a self dependence and start to depend on God alone just as James McConey explains.

"Faith is dependence upon God. And this God-dependence only begins when self dependence ends. And self-dependence only comes to its end, with some of us, when sorrow, suffering, affliction, broken plans and hopes bring us to that place of self-helplessness and defeat. I believe the Lord allows many things to happen on purpose to make us feel our need for Him"  

-James McConkey

But the greatest teaching thus far and the reason for my Unshakable Faith in Christ I know share about is in Romans. Regardless of what was thrown at me, God used it for GOOD! I had a bad dating experience, but God showed me how to be more careful next time. My desire to one day find "the one" seemed to be fulfilled but as it wasn't God protected me and cared for my heart enough that I still believe Mr Right is out there. I know that whether believers or not, my parents have my best interest and I honor that. I respect their opinions, take their advice and honor them in my relationships just as God has called me to do. I also have strengthened my prayers by knowing that God hears me when I speak to him. And that the best place to hold on to His word is in my heart and not my memory. I am able to look myself in the mirror and accept myself for who I am and not let weight or a pant size define me. I have learned to care for my body to be healthy and to hold truth that my body is a temple of the holy spirit, but I am not obsessed with unreasonable weight and know that the man God has for me will love me just as God created me! 

As far as work is concerned, Andrew no longer works there. I have to say I am not happy that he lost his job, but I know that all the patterns I saw in our relationship caused him to loose his job. I pray for him and ask God to care for him in his walk with Christ and to direct him in the right path to his calling. And just as hard as it was to work with him there and how much I wanted to quit, God honored my trust in him. I prayed that either one of us would be called to something else and he answered my prayer. God opened this job opportunity, and as tense as it was, I now am enjoying it so much and just love my job! :)

And so whatever the enemy or life itself decides to throw my way, whatever hard situations God allows to come my way, all I can say is that it is true... God works all things for the good of us who he has called and who love him! 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28

If you are walking with Christ, don't let the fiery darts of the enemy scare you. Don't be surprised when he attempts to shake your faith, to lie to you and to make you doubt. He is always looking for the strongest to fall, but God has your back and He is walking before you! Know that you are not alone, that we all face trials and bumps along the way, but the good news is that Christ already has overcome for us. 

What hard situation are in right now? What unbearable burden drowns you? are you finding yourself at a dead end street? Are you questioning god why such things happen to you? May I make a suggestion? Instead of asking Him why, why don't you ask Him for help? Trust that He will work out all things and used them for good in your life. Allow Him to help you out of that situation and once you are out, He will show you why. I promise, I know so because He says it in His word and He has shown me. I know He can do the same for you. all you gotta do is trust Him, in return God will give you an Unshakable Faith.