The Salvation To My Life's Worth Struggles

In my recent post I  have shared with you my discovery and growth in Christ and how the new me is feeling and thinking. I have also shared how because of the path that I am walking on, has changed so many aspects of  my life. I knew from day one that I had a lot to learn and grow but never had imagined how amazed I would feel by truly knowing God. As I become closer and closer to Him each day, not one day does he cease to amaze me.

For those of you that know me personally and know my life, know about all the struggles that I have been faced with and and the endless times that I have had "the right" to give up and complain. Yes I have complained, but never have I given up to find solutions and never have I stopped trying. Through the 25 years of my  life and all the things I have tried, I have finally found the ONE thing that solves it all, no matter how big or small or twisted or scary or insignificant something may seem... Prayer is the answer. Prayer is the answer and as I have titled this post "The Salvation to My Life's Worth Struggles".

As I become hungrier and hungrier for God and his greatness, I keep involving myself in everything that I can to praise and serve him. I have involved my self with Prayer Ministry through my church and I cannot begin to describe how great the feeling is of  knowing that God has called me to serve him in this area. A lot of the times we hear people talking about how God calls us to do certain things and how he has a purpose for our lives, and I can stand up today and say that this is very true! 

In order for me to be involved and serve through this ministry, I have had to prepare my self and really understand and connect with the idea of praying and what it is all about. It has been a little less than a month, in which I have read books, scriptures and basically prepare myself for God's calling to serve Him through prayer. In this time of my preparation and growth, I have become to understand that Prayer is your relationship with God and the only means we have to comunicate and hear Him. For many years I "prayed" and saw it as a means of having my needs be heard and answered. But prayer is much more than that. Prayer is the time we dedicate to God and the time that he dedicates to us. It is the time that we chose to give to Him and become into a deep personal relationship with Christ and the time that God will look into ourselves and give us our hearts desires.  

"If you abide in me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you" 

-John 15:7

Prayer is not primarily about what we can get out of God, but what He purposed to do in and through us. A lot of people, my self included, think that we dont know how to pray or even wonder if there is a way to pray. Had that ever crossed your mind? And see, the one thing that I have learned and gained from this experience is that you will only get good in prayer by praying, your relationship with God will only grow if you spend time with Him and getting to know each other, (Just as you would do with a significant other). I have learned that prayer time consist of not just asking God what you need but also in praising and worshiping him and mediate into what he wants us to know. You are praying when you are worshiping, when you are reading scripture, when you are in silence mediation and when you are talking to him. I hope that by this you see how praying is not asking to for things but it is being with God and spending time with Him. My purpose in this post is not to teach you how to pray but merely share with you my experience and witness to the great things God does by prayer. 

Its been a short 2 weeks that I have truly involved myself in prayer (same time I have been in preparation) and the rewards have been endless. I have seen prayers already been answered and have begun to understand that God does have a purpose for me. All I have ever needed to do to "fix" my problems has been to open my heart to God and to seek Him with all my heart. To truly trust Him and allow Him to take control of my life. In these same 2 weeks I have experienced a lot of situations that "should" have lead me to feel disappointed, frustrated and sad, and they have I am not gonna lie, but I have not allowed them to consume me because as my relationship with God grows, so do my eyes open to see the purpose behing each situation. 

In the beginning of these 3 weeks that I started my preparation, I lost a paid internship I had just been in for 4 days, to which I quit  my recent job to fulfill. With this came some decisions and changes in my life. I moved back into my parents house, something I never thought I would do, and with the reasons behind loosing my job came a lot of "test" in my faith and my patience. As I grew in prayer I began to see the purpose and reason behind all these events, or rather through God I was able to see the good in the bad. I prayed to God, that he would help me understand why things where happening and that if things were meant to be they would work themselves out and that he would lead me in the right direction to finding answers. To my surprise, God did exactly this! Not that I was praying without believing, but one thing is to believe God will answer your prayers and another is to see them answered!

Here's what I know for sure now: If it wasn't because I was now jobless, I would have never returned to my parents home. By having a job, I had money and I could take care of myself. Well I lost all of that with the internship. I always thought moving back home would be a sign of defeat and a sign across my forehead saying "I couldn't make it, so I moved back home". As you can see, there is pride in that and I for sure had pride that didn't allow me to come back home. By loosing my internship I was forced to let go of my pride and not see my parents help as defeat but as love and an opportunity to not be left with nothing. How many people who loose their jobs, loose also as a result, their homes and even their families. I am blessed to know that I had something to fall on and that God provided. As I was "forced" to move back home, I am being able to restore my relationship with my brother and sister and become part of their daily lives. As I am back home I have seen how great help I have become for my parents and I couldn't be happier to know how better they are know just by knowing I am there. I also realized that as we are all getting older, one day I will be married and move and my brother and sister will move away to college and make their own lives. By being jobless, I am able to have a shot at enjoying my family in the short time we have left in living together under the same roof. 

Another great thing I witness is how God will always provide to those who trust in him and love him. As I was out of means to have money, my parents started giving me an allowance and paying with a lot of sacrifice for my last semester of school. (Again, "allowance?! At age 25?!", my pride was gone and I received it as a blessing.) From my own money, that I still had from y previous job, I only had $5 and some change in my bank account. In my paid internship I did 3 days of training and only one full day of work, so I was sure that I couldn't expect to be paid for that. I was wrong. It hadn't even crossed my mind, so here I go checking my account to see what that change with my $5 was and to my own surprise I had over $400 dollars (yes it was a very good paid internship). God had provided.

Needless to say, as I was out of a job and school hadn't yet started, I had free time. Time that I used to prepare myself for prayer and as I have defined prayer, time in which I grew my relationship with God. As I had free time and no where to be I would always be home studying my prayer book and listening to worship music. I spent so much time at the dinner table with my book and notes that my mom asked what I was doing and when I said I was learning how to pray, to my surprise she said "When you're done, can you teach me?" ABSOLUTELY!  God was answering my prayer of my mom wanting to be closer to Him. One of the nights at home my sister joined me in my daily bible reading and my dad walked in to see what all the fuss was about as we held discussion. He then to my surprise started explaining some things to my sister in the Bible. I was amazed. I know God lives within my dad but I had no idea to what degree. God was answering my prayer that we could connect with my dad and that he would allow God to lead him to be a good father. I have been playing so  much worship music in my home that my brother and sister have become to sing along without realizing it. As a result of me being home and trying to encourage my siblings to go to church, my sister has started going with me and has recently started a grow group. Prayer answered! 

I couldn't be happier with this internship not working out, now that I see the great things that happened because of it. Through prayer, not only have I strengthen my relationship with God but I have served as a connection between him and my family. As I was praying about the loss of my internship and what to do about everything that came with it, in my prayer I said to God to place me where he needed me and where he had a purpose for me. He has done exactly that and I couldn't be happier. As I finished my book on learning how to pray and feeling somewhat ready to take on this responsibility (because you never really stop growing), people without knowing that I am in prayer ministry have began to ask for prayer requests. I am amazed by that.

As I am working on my last semester before completing my masters the questions arise of what will I do next, where will I work, and what are my plans. I still dont know these details but one thing I do know. I know that God has a purpose for me and that he has called me to serve him. He has asked me to serve as a bridge for those in need of his love and mercy. He has asked me to be an intercessor for my family, my friends, my church, my city, my nation and my world through prayer. I may not know the details of my life and my future but I do know that it is going to be a great one because Jesus is living through me. 

With that said, never in my life would I've imagined that I could in all honesty say.... "I am glad that I became jobless" God lead me to his purpose, but that is only because I searched him with all my heart, and he allowed me to find him. I made my relationship with Him stronger through prayer and service. 

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." -Jeremiah 29:12-13